Losing your novel

Recently, The Verge posted about some comments George R.R. Martin made at a Game of Thrones screening. As I'm not a particular fan of the TV show and haven't sifted through the rest of my backlog of books enough to start reading his series, there was really only one thing he said that I found interesting. In reference to video games that he played back in the 80s, he said, "I think I probably lost a novel or two there."

I'm not looking to make any sort of commentary on video games-- there's likely enough debate on that topic already. But George R.R. Martin's comment about having lost a novel made me start to consider my current situation, and what I may be doing that is making me lose a novel. Am I spending too much time reading and not enough writing? Too much TV? Too much work? Too much idle surfing? Of course the list could go on, but I've identified my big hurdles. And that's the first step-- knowing what's stopping you. The next step, overcoming and changing, is far heftier.

I've set myself a series of goals to help me re-center and balance my life, prioritizing writing a bit higher than it's been recently. I've never been good with goals, but this time is pretty different. I'll explain why next week.

In the mean time-- what's keeping you from your highest potential with your writing?

Love the story you have to tell

I've wanted to be a published author ever since I was a kid. I remember when I first began reading The Wheel of Time, I was so enthralled-- I wanted to do that myself. I was too young to read such a weighty novel, too young to try to write one. But I didn't care about either of those thoughts; I just started writing. I had a list of possible names, but nothing more. It was a creativity and a freedom that I've never since felt, not in any of my unpublished works. The blank page set my imagination racing, and my fingers laced the keys to keep up; writing my first novel is how I learned to type. I had to fill those pages somehow.

But why is it different now? Why is the blank page more like a set of steel bars than a pair of powerful wings? Why do I spend more time rereading my last paragraph than creating the next one? Why is my backspace key more worn than the space bar?

My answer: I'm not writing for myself right now. I'm writing, looking to have it read, to have it published. I need to get back to the simplistic love of the story I have to tell.

Just tell your story at first. Fix it up for readers and editors and publishers later. The first draft is for you. And you alone.

Put the work first

Current wisdom states that any up and coming writer needs to start building a network-- fans, professional ties, writer friends, etc. Have a presence on the internet, pick your favorite social network and get started. You'll be pretty alone at first, but that's okay. Keep going. It'll come.

Here's the question I ask myself whenever I sit down with my limited writing time. Am I better served by focusing on social media, freelance assignments & pitches, or on my current work? Freelance has been winning out lately. Next is my novel, and last-- blogging and twitter.

My wisdom: make sure you take care of your writing first, networking second. After all, a great author will find a network by being a great author. But the opposite is not necessarily true.

Put the work first. There is no substitute, no shortcut, for getting the words on the page-- and getting them right.

Handling Rejection

Getting any kind of writing work, be it fiction or freelance-journalism, is an uphill battle. Editors already have long lists of outstanding, skilled, and experienced writers. Most of the editors I've met will honestly say that they are always looking for new writers. But the reality I've found is not quite so simple. 

I got my first writing gig with a website and accompanying magazine a little over a year ago. I pitched to an associate editor and never heard back. After about a month, I followed up, pitching a different angle. We finally connected, though it was my first pitch that he preferred. It took another 6 months before I received an assignment and started writing and getting paid. 

Recently, I've been working with a new editor at a website, we worked through my pitch, and I got a draft submitted. Then came the email every writer fears-- "not what I had in mind". It's that moment of rejection that struck me like a fist in the gut. Part of me just wanted to toss the whole thing away-- after all the hours I spent on the draft that was in the wrong direction-- maybe I'm not cut out for this writing thing anyway. And it wasn't like I had tons of alternate angles to pitch in rebuttal.

Except, I did. I just didn't know it. 

So, here's my formula for surviving rejection-- and I know I'm going to have plenty of it. It's simple really: DO NOTHING. For at least an hour, find something else to do. Do not respond, do not think, do not ponder. Go immediately to something else. For me, it was dinner. I talked it out some with my wife, and afterward we had a lovely meal together. Then, I got back to the drawing board and sure enough, more than a dozen alternatives came out. I picked the best and pitched anew.

You see, my thinking is that in the moment, feeling rejected and crushed, I'm not thinking clearly. Anything I write, whether a response to the editor or a rewrite to the article, it will all be emotionally charged. Sure, it may not be completely visible, but it will be there. Much better to take a beat. Besides, no editor is going to expect an immediate fix to anything they send back.

I know my rejection isn't so bad. This editor and I are still going to work together. But these mini-rejections are the perfect place to practice taking time for myself before I respond. That way, I'll already know what to do when bigger rejections come my way.

How about you? How do you come with rejection?

Rewriting

If you're anything like me, there's a particular part of the writing process that you love and another that you would just love to chuck out the window. I think any writer of even minor experience understands the importance of each part of the process. For me, I didn't realize the value of revising until I received my first professional assignment. It was a freelance article that I'd pitched to a magazine. We decided to take a bit of a dry run on their website first and I was surprised my editor offered to pick up my pitch for the magazine afterward-- I do not think I did well at all, and my editor basically rewrote most of the article before it went up. You see, I hadn't spent any time in revision-- I'd never really had to before because all my teachers and professors accepted what I turned in, telling me how good it was. 

I'm grateful to my first editor and the second chance he gave me. We had a bit more time, so when I sent him a draft, he sent it back with extensive notes on what to change. I made those changes, and got more notes back. Over and over. I think it was the 4th or 5th round when I threw out everything I'd written, internalized his notes and started again. And it was wonderful. Sure, I still had to go through a few rounds with that, but I'd learned the value of the rewrite, rather than just the edit. 

My writing life has been much better ever since. With my current assignment, I went through three full rewrites before I submitted it for feedback, each far superior to the one prior. I anticipate a lot of feedback still, but that's how I grow as a writer. 

Of course, time contains me from doing very many rewrites for this blog. So, you get what is basically a first draft. I'd love to get to the point where I have more time to rewrite here, but for now, this will just have to do. Between my full time day job, the 10 semester credits I'm taking for a certification, my freelance writing work, not to mention home and family-- there's not much time left for this blog. At least not yet. 

Predictability

This weekend, I finally got around to watching The Hunger Games. I've only gotten a few chapters into the book before I put it down. I know it's an extremely popular book lately and I have every intention of going back to it, but I just wasn't able to get into it when I first tried. It doesn't help that I've got an enormous and ever-growing backlog of books that keep vying for my attention. Anyway, I thought the movie was okay-- well acted and decently written, but I couldn't help but see through it. And that's what's got me posting today.

You see, I'm an over-thinker, as anyone who followed my liveblogging of Mistborn will know. I've experienced a great deal of stories through books, movies, video games, and I know specific story-beats when I see them. Take when the dog-beast jumps out of the woods--I'm trying to avoid spoilers, just in case--there is so much that telegraphs it before it happens: music (or lack thereof), dialogue, camera angle, body posture, and so on. It was only my wife sitting next to me that kept me from saying "now" just as the hidden beast lunged-- she hates it when I do that.

And here is where I'm torn. When I write, I want my story and its pacing to be unique, unpredictable. I want to write the kind of story I love to read, where events are clear and connected, with subtle clues laid along, but never telegraphed to the reader. But I also understand that story-beats occur the way they do because they are successful. My wife jumped, letting out a little scream, when the beast leaped out of the forest. That pacing worked for her, and for countless others-- just not for me.

When I first started writing, I wanted to go against every story-template I know. I didn't want to write a hero's journey. Happily-ever-after isn't my kind of tale. Yet, if I broke with the tried-and-true entirely, I ran the risk of never finding a sizable audience. Now, I've reconsidered. It's not about making a new mold, it's about choosing to break just the right parts of an existing mold. There are countless authors already doing this to great effect. I loved Ender's Game for the twist and melancholy ending and The Giver for the ambiguity it offers about the fate of the main character. Or in a slightly different vein, The Walking Dead adventure game by Telltale reinvigorates the zombie-story with small changes in gameplay. Chopping into a zombie's head one swing at a time really drives the experience home, giving you a moment to reflect between swings. It's what each of these does differently that sticks with me. How about you? Do you enjoy traditional stories or ones that change it up?

Getting some Traction

So, it's taken me more than a week to come back. In fact, looking at the notes I left myself, it's been quite a while. At the time I was reading a book about organization that talked about getting your most awful-but-important task done first-- right at the beginning of the day. The book used a Mark Twain quote about eating a frog first thing in the morning, that way you know that nothing worse can happen that day. It was some really great stuff and I was planning to really dive in here, but then my daytime job hit full swing with a new position and it's taking a lot more of my time and energy than I anticipated. It'd be nice if I could say I got a substantial raise with all the extra responsibility, but such is not the case. The extra $100 or so a month is nice, but nothing when compared with the sheer weight of my new position.

But this post is about getting some traction with my writing. My wheels have been spinning a long time now, and so I've fallen back into what got me going the last time around. I've sent some pitches around for some freelance writing work for websites and magazines. One's pretty promising, if a bit slow in the processing. It's not my novel, sadly, but it's writing. And it was this kind of writing that made me fall in love with words again and brought me back to the blank page. It was this kind of writing that propelled me 20k words into my novel before my inner editor and the overly complicated logistics of an online writing group drained my reservoir. I loved that group; my writing just wasn't ready for it. That, and we never really got to know each other on a personal level, and that made critiquing and receiving critiques more difficult-- I never quite knew the tone of the person behind the feedback. Plus, our group kept growing randomly and when we hit eight or nine, I think most of us basically gave up. Four or five is the perfect size, I think. But if any of them read this, I did learn a ton and I am grateful for what the group did. And I wish each of you well with your books. I'd love to see us all on the shelf one day. And if not, keep writing.

I wish I could say my traction is firm and I'm making headway. I'm not there yet, but I think about my writing everyday. And I long to get back to it in full force again. I hope to soon. I really do. What about you? How do you keep your traction going?