Handling Rejection

Getting any kind of writing work, be it fiction or freelance-journalism, is an uphill battle. Editors already have long lists of outstanding, skilled, and experienced writers. Most of the editors I've met will honestly say that they are always looking for new writers. But the reality I've found is not quite so simple. 

I got my first writing gig with a website and accompanying magazine a little over a year ago. I pitched to an associate editor and never heard back. After about a month, I followed up, pitching a different angle. We finally connected, though it was my first pitch that he preferred. It took another 6 months before I received an assignment and started writing and getting paid. 

Recently, I've been working with a new editor at a website, we worked through my pitch, and I got a draft submitted. Then came the email every writer fears-- "not what I had in mind". It's that moment of rejection that struck me like a fist in the gut. Part of me just wanted to toss the whole thing away-- after all the hours I spent on the draft that was in the wrong direction-- maybe I'm not cut out for this writing thing anyway. And it wasn't like I had tons of alternate angles to pitch in rebuttal.

Except, I did. I just didn't know it. 

So, here's my formula for surviving rejection-- and I know I'm going to have plenty of it. It's simple really: DO NOTHING. For at least an hour, find something else to do. Do not respond, do not think, do not ponder. Go immediately to something else. For me, it was dinner. I talked it out some with my wife, and afterward we had a lovely meal together. Then, I got back to the drawing board and sure enough, more than a dozen alternatives came out. I picked the best and pitched anew.

You see, my thinking is that in the moment, feeling rejected and crushed, I'm not thinking clearly. Anything I write, whether a response to the editor or a rewrite to the article, it will all be emotionally charged. Sure, it may not be completely visible, but it will be there. Much better to take a beat. Besides, no editor is going to expect an immediate fix to anything they send back.

I know my rejection isn't so bad. This editor and I are still going to work together. But these mini-rejections are the perfect place to practice taking time for myself before I respond. That way, I'll already know what to do when bigger rejections come my way.

How about you? How do you come with rejection?