A Spiraling Trap Part 3

There are a lot of things I've done to try to escape the trap I've found myself in. I've tried starting over with a commitment for that to be the last time I start over. I've tried moving on to a new novel. I've tried plotting. I've tried extremely loose and carefree writing. I've tried starting in the middle. I've tried jumping from scene to scene. I've tried just about everything I can think of. There are only two things that I've been able to figure out that I've not done yet-- jumping back in right where I left off, and forcing myself to hit a word goal every day. And I think those two things are the secret to getting out of the spiral.

You see, when the spiral started, I was writing a thousand or so words everyday. I had a lot more time then, and I'm hoping to have some time like that again soon. But that "butt in chair, words on page" mentality pushed me through a great many blocks. Sure, it didn't always make for the most cohesive manuscript, but that's what rewrites are for-- to clean all that stuff up.

Of course, back then I was also reading ever day as well. I was working through Brandon Sandersons's Mistborn at the time, and writing daily posts about each chapter, which increased my daily wordcount in a way that I wasn't even considering.

What I need now is a solid plan, which specific times of day and quantities of words that I'm going to reach. I haven't set that series of goals yet, but I think it's time to do it.

So, I've got the rough outline of my story now-- I've written it out as a better guide, fitting in some of the good ideas I've had, but focusing on the core story that got me excited in the first place. I've already writting the first 20,000 words or so, and I'm letting them stand (even though they're completely wrong at this point). I am picking up my story where I first left off. At exactly the same scene. There's no need to back up at all because I've already written that in skeleton form in my outline.

As for my wordcount goal-- that is tough because I have a  fairly limited schedule. But nothing worthwhile was ever achieved without some sacrifice and work. So, my beginning goal is 500 words a day. It's not much, but it's attainable. At my pace of free-typing, it should take me about an hour a day. Given that I usually build some leeway into my goals, I'm setting my weekly word count goal at 2500. That gives me two days off each week, or a few lighter writing days. Those are for when the rest of life takes precidence, which is important to let happen, I believe.

Today is already awash, with how late in the day I'm writing this, but checking the word count here, I'm nearly to 500 already, so at least with that, I can successfully call my goal as started, and cross off my first day. Of course, it'll shrink if I go through and pare this post down, and that actually leads me to next weeks topic: blogging-- revise or no?

A Spiraling Trap Part 2

Last week I wrote about the spiraling trap I am in with my work in progress. I can't seem to get it enough off the ground to keep it going, and every overhaul results in starting my draft over again. Today I want to pick up on that topic, but focus on why this all started. Then next week, I'll hone in on what I'm doing to try to escape the cycle.

It all started with a writing group. Now, I must first begin by saying that I love writing groups, and I really enjoyed my time with this particular group. But I have to say that this was the beginning of my vicious trap. I didn't personally know anyone in my group. We were an internet-based group, posting 1000 words each week on a private blog for the others to read and comment. It wasn't an ideal situation, which didn't help the process, but we were all quite eager to begin.

At the time I was five or six thousand words into the first draft of my novel, and I was trucking along at a really good pace of at least a thousand words each day. I was pleased with what I'd accomplished, though I knew it was far from viewer-ready. I started posting my thousand words.

And then I made the mistake of reading the comments that came in.

There were a lot of really good points, and some solid suggestions, all of which began to ruminate in my mind. I was about 12,000 words in when I decided to start over and incorporate what I'd settled on as an improved beginning.

It was a lot better, so I shared my new drafts. I was another 20,000 words in when the group began to fall apart. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who found the dynamics and feedback more of a challenge than I expected. We all began to comment less and less, posting less and less regularly. The group tried to resuscitate itself with an infusion of several new members, though that turned out to simply be one of many signs of death.

As I reflect back on that experience  I realize two important things: my work wasn't ready for critiques, and I wasn't stable enough in my story for the feedback I was getting.

Since that time, I've perused several writer-blogs and read more writing books, and the accepted wisdom I've adopted is that the first draft is for me, and only me. No one gets to read my first draft. Period. It's a learning-draft, a practice-draft. And while I am accepting of the at-times crap that I write, there is no reason for me to share it.

What about you... have you ever shared something too early and had it fall apart?

A Spiraling Trap

So, I find myself deep within the spiraling trap of the story-restarting loop. And it's all because I haven't been able to write every day. Or at least that's what I tell myself to help me feel better.

You see, I tend to keep all the bits of my story in my head as I write. I'm not really one for an outline-- I prefer to let the story unfold before me. I do like to have a bit of a skeleton idea of major plot and theme points, but I let it flesh itself out on all the in between stuff. It makes for some pretty messy drafts, but some pretty exciting writing sessions.

My current story hit a pretty hefty roadblock about 20,000 words in, and while I could have probably put my head down and barreled through it, I was in a pretty vulnerable place in my life and I chose to just let it sit instead. Bad decision. All of the pieces of the story I'd been holding in my head disappeared before I got back to it.

So, I moved onto a different project instead, thinking I just needed a fresh start. But I'm not ready for that project-- not yet. So I went back to my first one. Of course, I'd lost so many of my original ideas that were floating in my head, and I'd considered so many new ones, that I just went ahead and started over from the beginning. I figured there was no harm-- after all, I'd be rewriting it all anyway to work in the nifty new stuff I'd thought of.

Of course, that was like three restarts ago. Yeah, it's a trap. One that keeps repeating itself. 7000 words into a new draft, and it's such a disaster that I feel like I have to start over just to keep my sanity. Each time I say that I'm going to keep at it every day so I don't lose all those precious mental pieces, but it keeps falling apart. Maybe I just need to spend an hour or more everyday just writing down those ideas, in a cohesive and interesting form-- that's what they call writing a story, right? Or at least the starting point for one.

Here's what I keep telling myself, as I heard from a panel at the Life, Universe and Everything conference a few months ago. "Give yourself permission to write crap. You can fix crap; you can't fix a blank page." -Julie Wright

My Writing Space

There are two main places I write: at my desk or on my couch. Whenever I try to write somewhere else, I find it far more difficult. Recently, I spent several hours waiting for some repairs to be done on my car. I knew it was coming, and brought my laptop to get some solid writing time in. As you may have guessed, it didn't work out quite as I hoped. In fact, I found so many distractions that I don't normally encounter in the relative quiet of my home.

There was the incessant TV, endlessly playing news programs. I had no interest, yet even with headphones and some of my traditional writing music, the chatter kept pulling me out of the moment. Then there were the dozens of people who walked in and out of the waiting room, each catching my eye, however briefly, and pulling me out of my writing. And finally there were the wafting scents of fresh popcorn and cookies-- yeah, complimentary even, which made my healthy eating pledge and stomach both growl.

All in all, it made for a less productive atmosphere for my writing. But it got me thinking about the distractions I still have in my home writing space, even if I've learned to work around them. If I'm at my desk, there are stacks of bills and paperwork, piles of general clutter, even old dishes from a snack. These things don't keep me from writing, but they sure do make it more difficult.

The answer-- remove the distractions that I can, and learn to work around the others. At the car shop, for example, I could have turned my chair away from the TV, perhaps even facing a wall if necessary. At home, I can clear off my desk, finding a new place to house my paperwork-- even putting it all away when it's my writing time and then bringing it back up afterward. And I'm sure my wife will be happy if I put old dishes into the dishwasher when I'm finished with them.

Distractions can be a huge bane to my writing. Like the act of writing itself, it takes some planning and discipline to eliminate distractions. I hope the payoff is as large as I think it will be.

What about you? Where can you reduce distractions to your writing?

My New Goal System

I promised I'd be back to talk about my new series of goals. It's not too complex actually. I just created a series of tiers for my goals and some escalating rewards to go along with those tiers. The basic level are things I can control on a daily basis, like actually sitting down and writing or eating within my allotted amount. Hit enough of those daily goals in a week and I get a small reward. Do it for 2 weeks and get a bigger reward. Hit a milestone and get an even larger reward. Arrive at my destination, get a significant reward.

I've been at it a couple of weeks now, and it's working quite well. But that alone isn't what makes it valuable. It's the fact that I've selected goals that balance my life in a way that hasn't happened in a very long time, if ever. I have goals for physical health, mental and emotional health, spiritual health, and writing- my essence-health. There's a goal for each of them and tiers to help me get there.

Last week I considered the things that are keeping me from my novel. These goals are to keep me focused, so I don't lose another novel to the trivial parts of my life. I've probably lost one or two already, certainly several more if you factor in the years I spent not writing. But no more.

It would be great if I didn't need the small incentives to make sure I get to my writing and other healthy habits each day, and I hope one day to get there. But until I do, I'll take motivation wherever I can find it.